Interview With That’s Bibi
Bibiana is a dentist, wife and mother of two-year-old twins, who vlogs about marriage, parenting and living life in relationship with God.
Refreshingly, her vlogs are mostly raw footage of messy yet beautiful family life; a very real, human change from the polished, photoshopped media we’re used to. We arranged a time to chat to find out more.
Q: What’s the best thing about having twins?
Knowing that they’ll always have a friend around: when they’re older and at school they’ll be together throughout the day. One of the funniest things they do at the moment is trading food. For example, Olivia loves the taste of avocado but not cheese, and Noah is the opposite. They push the food they don’t like to the edge of their tray and then take food from each others’ trays. It’s a very serious business.
Q: And the hardest?
Finding time for myself — and having to do everything twice. Once you’ve changed one smelly nappy, you then have to change another!
Q: What gets you out of bed in the morning?
The fact that I’ve been given a family motivates me. I believe motherhood is an honour and privilege; I know that miscarriages are common and that many people long to have children. It can be a demanding role especially as I’m also a full-time dentist, but thankfully my kids do something every day that makes me laugh.
Q: How does your relationship with God affect your parenting?
I believe that God wants the best for us. He’s a selfless, giving God. He is love. As I parent I want to reflect that to my kids. I also think it’s important that both parents are in agreement and not always arguing. If my husband and I disagree over something, I ultimately trust him to make the final decision.
We do our best to set an example to our kids and pray with them, too. I live by the proverb, ‘Start children off on the way they should go, and even when they are old they will not turn from it.’ (Proverbs 22:6, NIV translation).
Q: How do you make quality time for your husband and do you have any top tips for marriage?
Date night. Someone once said to me that date night is less expensive than marriage counselling. We try to set aside one evening a week when we won’t talk about practical things but simply have fun.
A top tip is to speak positive, affirming words towards your husband. That goes for kids, too — and actually any relationship. I think that when we encourage others, they’re more likely to believe that about themselves and then act in line with our words. ‘As he thinks in his heart, so is he.’ (Prov 23:7, Amp translation)
Q: Can you give us any ideas on ways to remain secure in our identity without feeling like a failure by comparing ourselves to others?
I have a couple of favourite sayings that help me avoid comparing myself with others: ‘People think the grass is greener on the other side, but it’s only greener where you water it,’ and, ‘You can’t be happy and envious at the same time’.
Some people have mentors or look up to someone, and that’s good. But it’s not good to compare yourself to them. The only person worth comparing ourselves to is Jesus Christ. Be careful with social media, too; Instagram tends to be a highlight reel. Most people don’t post about feeling depressed or struggling, but remember that everyone is dealing with something. Whatever you’re going through, someone else is also experiencing it. If you’re feeling down on Instagram, try logging off and doing something different, or reading some words from the Bible to restore your confidence. If you’re stuck as to where to start, I’d recommend the Daily Audio Bible by Brian Hardin.
Q: On that note, are there any Bible verses that you find particularly encouraging in helping you feel secure?
I love the book of Proverbs. I read a chapter every day and, since there are 31 chapters, you can read through it every month. It’s timely wisdom and I find something new jumps out at me every time I read it. One of my favourite verses in it is: ‘Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding. In all your ways submit to him and he will make your paths straight.’ (Proverbs 3:5-6, NIV translation). I’m also greatly encouraged by Philippians 4:6-8.
Q: Why did you decide to launch a vlog and how do you hope women will be encouraged by it?
I started making short videos to share with family and friends, especially my extended family in Nigeria who wanted to see the twins. The videos started becoming popular and people were asking for longer videos, so I started posting them on YouTube.
It’s easy to find out how to apply makeup on YouTube but I couldn’t find many videos that featured Christian vloggers. I’m not saying I’m the gold standard, but I wanted to create a channel where people could laugh and also feel encouraged and inspired to live Christ-centred lives. I include beauty, tall fashion, and mummy and relationship advice, too. I want to show a glimpse of real life to people rather than the classic ‘highlight’ reel you usually get on social media.
I’ve loved getting emails from subscribers from all over the world who’ve been encouraged by my videos. I’ve come to realise that you don’t have to be perfect to inspire people. Instead, let them be inspired by how you deal with your imperfections.
Watch Bibi’s latest videos at ThatsBibiVlogs or follow her on Instagram and Twitter @ThatsBibixoxo
Words by Louise Champness
Photography by Fitria Tjandra